Honoring Better Boundaries

Balance has everything to do with boundaries. Our community will always demand more from our internal resources than we feel able to meet. Expectations from others is often a weight, as are differing perspectives, narratives and outlooks. Preserving who we truly are, what we truly want for our lives and what supports our health is essential.

Boundaries and building strong ones, are invaluable in this. When we say no, or remain indifferent to criticism, we protect our peace and our nervous systems. At times, our birth families, our colleagues and the institutions we are placed in, do not serve our authentic selves. In fact, they disrupt our values, our core beliefs and our mission in life. Through observation, we can distance ourselves internally, whilst still remaining in close physical proximity to those that disrupt and dis-regulate our voice, authenticity and power.

Our found families are often a soft place to land, a kind place to be heard and held. It is vital that we seek out the community and friendships that nourish, restore and cultivate us. The best friendships and family systems protect our freedom, incite confidence and encourage our direction, joys and purpose.

This requires instinct and intution. To know when to move, when to protect, when to share - is about observing our bodies, noticing how others make us feel and connecting with those that give us ease, strength and resonance.

Our communities are much like gardens, and we, much like plants, must find the right soil to cultivate and grow from. Soil is shared, and those we share our resources with must respect our needs and nurture our growth - and vice versa.

Our boundaries uphold this basic principle - as we preserve what serves us and supports our purpose, our sense of belonging and the people that nurture our true selves; that allow us to expand without conditions and encourage us to step outside of what is known, safe and understood. Our boundaries should filter out that which no longer resonates, and encourage us to embrace change, without shame, judgement and without pressure.

Listen to your body - to the people that support your growth and to those that stifle and limit you. Boundaries ought to be placed, preserved and protected. They also invite us to negotiate, navigate and reconfigure the lay lines of our relationships: as our friendships and community continues to evolve, shift and change over our lifetimes.